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May 19, 2011

The world does not feel safe. And I just came here to write about it, only to discover that WordPress has changed its layout. The font is different, some things aren’t where they are supposed to be, and this is Not Okay. I have a low threshold for dealing with change as it is, but right now, this is really getting to me. Which makes me even more of a nutjob than I already am.

Things feel unsafe. I don’t trust the world. I’m constantly worrying that the man walking by me on the street is going to pull out a gun. Wincing as a car drives me, convinced that someone is going to try to abduct me. I’m terrified of the world ending. The weather has felt not just gloomy, but dangerous. My brain is making me think about scary things, some that are real and some that are not. There’s so much bad in the world and it’s consuming me right now.

I’m a bad role model. A bad girlfriend. A bad friend. A bad daughter.

Starting to spin, starting to freeze. I can feel my brain locking up.


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