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Wisdom from a friend

April 22, 2011

I woke up this morning still feeling not-quite-right and spent some time worrying about that but as my anxiety continued to mount, and as I began to feel the memories take hold not just in my mind but in my body, I decided to be proactive. After all, “You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.” ~Ayn Rand. What that means to me in this case, is that at least historically speaking, running from my feelings and thoughts and memories surrounding past events seems like a really appealing idea. Except, all that really does is keep it building up until it gets so bad that I am prescribed incredibly large, scary dosages of klonopin to take twice a day.

Avoidance doesn’t work for this. I’m wiser now. I know it. So, I took a deep breath and texted a friend–one of those rare gems, someone who “gets it” and who has seen me at my absolute worst, who has seen me through this entire process. I told her about my fears, I told her what happened last night, I told her what I’m worried about. Here is what she said:

“It’s normal to have those triggers – it’s just not sitting right with you because it hasn’t happened in a really long time. It used to be your whole life and now it’s still a tiny piece of it, but way more manageable than before. You’ve overcome it. But it was your world before, so it is inevitable that things will trigger memories and feelings.”

I couldn’t ask to hear anything more comforting. I have overcome it. It’s not my whole life anymore. This is normal. I don’t have to panic.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 23, 2011 10:02 pm

    YAY!!!! I am so happy that you have looked into the eye of the OCD bully and not let that bully win!!! Good for you. I’m cheering for you!!!

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