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A whole new realm of spins.

February 13, 2011

I guess it’s at least good that I foresee it coming/acknowledge that it’s already somewhat in existence. Right?

So, I am dating a guy. We’ve only been out a handful of times, but we talk frequently and there are a lot of things that he’s done/said, and a lot of feelings that I’ve gotten, that are indicators to me that this is special. And surprisingly, I’m not freaking about abandonment–if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but for whatever reason, I’ve been able to just go with the flow and see what happens. Which for me, is obviously huge.

No, my current spinnings are happening in regards to my girlfriends. Like, “Ohmygod I’m such an awful person for bailing on girl’s night tomorrow night and going out with him for Valentine’s Day. Am I abandoning them? Do they think that I care about him more than them? No, they have to know that I wasn’t going to say no when he asked me to do something tomorrow night. But what if they do? What if they now talk about me all night during girl’s night about how I don’t care about them anymore? But no, they know that’s not true. Or do they? How do I KNOW that they don’t hate me for this? What if they hate me for going out on Valentine’s Day? But don’t I deserve to go out with someone I care about, and who cares about me? But they deserve it too and they don’t have a guy to be with so doesn’t that mean that I shouldn’t go out either so that we can all stay on the same page?”

And on. and on. and on.

At least I know how to handle the other spins, but seeing as this is a brand new thing for me…in its entirety…so, no clue how to counter this one.

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