“My thoughts are racecars running round my head”
I’m so overwhelmed. Thoughts are spinning and I don’t know how to slow them down. I can’t tease apart what I’m thinking about. I could probably give a few general categories but that’s about it. I have so much work to do and don’t know where to start. That leads to spinning about failing out of grad school, failing myself, etc. It’s a general sense of anxiety that has been with me all day and I can’t shake it.
I tried reaching out to a few people today but I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. “Hi, I know you have so much going on in your life right now but I’m anxious and need to talk about some things but I’m not sure what, so can we just do that right now, and can you push your important things aside for my spinnings and anxieties?” Not so much.
I am in one of those places where I don’t feel that I have the right to ask for help, ask for a listening ear, or ask for anything if a) someone else’s issues/life circumstances are bigger or more important than mine, b) I don’t have a clear problem or issue going on at the moment, and c) it’s nothing new or seemingly important.
Yes, that is probably a whole lot of OCD right there, setting rules and telling me to be SURE that I don’t fit into any of those categories. And, as we all know, it’s damn near impossible to be SURE of anything.
Thus, enter more spinning, more anxiety, and more confusion.