….that I might be on the verge of a rough OCD patch (or already in one?):
1. I started a blog entry a week ago, about an OCD fear/intrusive thought that I have never written about, or spoken about. I have sat down to finish it and post it several times and can’t bring myself to, because I am worrying what people will think about me for writing it. Worrying about what it’ll say about me.
2. I am getting visions of death again, which are one of the most debilitating for me. I don’t want my family going anywhere without me, in case there’s an accident and they die and I’m not with them. My parents are taking a trip this summer and flying together, alone, for the first time ever. I’m already panicking about it, and getting images of the plane crashing and us being without them. That brief image/thought alone makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs, or cry, and beg them to not go.
3. I went to the beach today and got burned, which rarely happens because I’m anal about sunscreen. Since getting home, I have asked my parents at least three times if they think I could get skin cancer, and have checked the skin cancer signs online, “just to be sure”.
Yeah. Not so good.